ring around the world ash pit

So I've been away from the computer and my phone for four days. Hahahaha holy shit :/

Also, my phone officially is no longer on the plan thing where I have like a hundred texts before I pay for them, so every time y'all text me from now on it costs me 20¢. Just uh. To keep in mind.

Reasons Katie is stupid/a terrible role model/going to die an early death #236245689435:
Just ate a pound of tofu.
That had expired.
Two weeks ago.
Even though it smelled and tasted sort of funny.
Just put some soy sauce on it and ignored it.
Think I may have given myself a little food poisoning.
I inherited my Grandpa's ideas about food, it appears (hopefully I inherited his strong stomach, too. We'll see).

Went in for my physical, got a shot and some blood drawn. And weighed and measured and poked and prodded. I also got a printout of my charts.

Weight: 25th percentile.
Height: 75th percentile.
BMI: FUCKING 9TH PERCENTILE.

OH MY GOD WHY CAN'T I WRITE/DRAW/PLAY DRUMS/FIND A JOB
BRB SMASHING MY KNEES INTO BITTY FRAGMENTS WITH A BALLPEEN HAMMER

I had a dream I was (comicverse, obviously) Deadpool. And I was on a secret mission in a greenhouse (after just having set a bus on fire with a flamethrower): eat as much chocolate as I could before the police came to get me. It was pretty much the best thing ever. (Not totally sure why there was all this chocolate there. Had something to do with Mother's Day.) And then Rachel called and woke me up.

Things that make me rage with the force of a thousand vengeful deities: "expecially".

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Haha, oh man, some old homeless guy is sitting next to me cursing to himself. I've been able to catch mostly 'bitch' and 'candy-ass'. I'm not even totally sure he's saying anything. I can't describe how hard I'm laughing. Seriously. It's just like blarghmarrrrarharfuckin goddamn bunch of grayyahrrahr. And he has the greatest voice, too. Fuck. So awesome.

Ugh. So hungry. But I have internet, which is nice.

Also, I discovered this morning that I'm out of soy creamer. Brb ending my life. ;o;

WHOA HOLY SHIT BILLY MAYS IS DEAD
GOODNIGHT, SWEET PRINCE




(THEY'RE DROPPING LIKE FLIESSSSS)

The English language needs synonyms for certain words. Specifically, 'kiss', 'smile' and 'say'. Bane of my fucking life right there.

Fuckkkk.

Turns out, Johnny Cash ≠ John Wayne.

Nice one, Katie.

The week's gone so fast!

Ah, MW post - settle for 'I masturbate' today, okay? I don't feel like it. But um, extra-long one tomorrow maybe?

So Michael Jackson is dead, wtf.

FUCKING GET MOTIVATED KATIE YOU HAVE BUNCHES OF WORK TO DO WHAT ARE YOU STILL SITTING AROUND FORRRR

...I'm a little worried that the mushrooms in this ramen are listed only as 'black fungus'. (And also that there were flowers in it. Yeah. Little orange flowers. And I checked the packaging - that's how I found the fungus thing - and it says right there, 'white lily'. Weird.)

Also, do you ever feel like your music player is trying to tell you something? :/

Masturbation Week post number three~!

( Yeah, I'm cutting it again. Don't judge me. )

MY CAT IS TALKING IN HER SLEEEEEEEEP

FUCKING CUTE OVERLOAD

It's Tuesday, officially, so I'm gonna get the Masturbation Week entry out of the way real quick, seeing's I won't likely be able to later on.

( More cuts. )

Gonna pop in quick with this before Monday is over.

It's ✩~ MASTURBATION WEEK ~✩ and I'm going to participate. (I like how I say this without explaining it as if it's some official thing everyone's heard of.) Uh, post an entry a day relating in some way to masturbation.

( Under a cut, for discretion. )

Oh my god I am so happy. Being terrified of her is worth it because she makes me so... oh my god I don't even have words for it.

DEAR 'YOUNG LOVE' CLICHES:
STOP APPLYING TO ME, FUCKERS.